Ah crap. Mr Leong reads... Well, it doesn't really matter anyway. It's not as if he's going to comment. And simply for saying that, I know you will leave a comment... And you will tease... Ah well. Won't affect me.

Much, I hope.

Gender... I overheard Cass talking to Jo about how she wonders how she should have been a boy. I don't think so. As said earlier in the day, it's simply more "masculine" for men to hide their emotions. Cass would have made a horrible guy in that aspect.

Makes me think, too. Maturity simply cannot be judged by how quiet a person is. For me, at the very least, my parents always judged maturity by how my cousin talks with his brother. He doesn't talk about games, he's always talking with my mum about theatre, english... Otherwise, he'll just remain quiet and keep to himself.

I have nothing against my cousin, but I really wish that they would stop comparing us, though. My parents call me immature because I talk games with his brother. I would admit that I am being immature about the fact that I don't admit that I play too much. But is it immature just to talk about games? I talk with my mum just fine about philosophy and music, and because I prefer to talk alot about everything and anything, unlike my cousin who stays in his seat during a wedding dinner, burying his nose into food and not talking at all, I'm immature.

Personally, I'd call that sociable.

Ah well. I tend to wear my emotions more obviously than most guys, so I probably would be called "feminine." Society exacts its toll upon those who do not conform, I really have to agree with that. I wear my emotions on my face, talk a lot of crap (Should be labeled gossip.) and society exacts its toll upon me. Heh, not that I really care anyway. Just something random, I like Pokemon, call it kiddy for all I care. Just because you idiots are too prejudiced to see the strategy behind the competitive scene, doesn't mean I can't. Besides, I've found good friends who will stick with me through anything because of this that I term "Friendship filter."

Yawn. Did Chem today. Atomic Structure. Mmmm... I'll just hand it up to Ms Du tmr. It's about time I started putting in more effort. What can I say... I'm lazy, have always been.

Bio SPA today sia. Damn panicky. I take the inoculation loop that time, panic until I slam the entire bag of it down onto the table, one big loud CRACK through the entire lab, nearly all the loops break. Ms Yeo just gave me a look, then replaced for me. You know THE look? Yeah... Daryl say I use wrong micropipettes for my stuff. Aiya, heck la. I so panicky, even that damn stretchy film used to seal our petri dishes I also can break it. It's like, freaking stretchy and more solid than blu-tack, but I still manage to totally tear it into half because I panic. Sian.

At least I got all my stupid written stuff done. Heng ah... I don't think I missed out anything, I hope... Meh. End at 12 tomorrow. Stay in school la. If I go home early, mum probably going to nag me again for lousy results.

Haiz... Weeks of chem remedial, all I attend, all I go prepared, all the work I do, still come out one big fat U. Damned sian. Mum always goes, if you put in so much work, then get the results to show for it! Doesn't seem to matter much to me leh... Study or not, also fail. Big, fat, U's.

Finally got my bio prelim papers. Better start doing. Tomorrow chiong Math Binomial worksheet... I think I can finish in time for consultation with Mr Tan on Thursday. *Frown* If I go like that, one topic per subject per week, maybe I can pass everything in BT2... I really hope my Bio for BT1 not too bad lor... Haiz... Mug the entire week for it, still can forget the Photosynthesis part, which side the stalked particles facing...

AND I'm 30 bucks poorer. S19 better hand up class fund tomorrow ah... Or Cassie doesn't get her Climbing money. Hmmph. *Mock pout*

So... Today's hope is mundane, but it's sometimes so difficult...

Hope of the day: To be able to redo my tutorials for one topic per week per subject. By BT2, I should have covered everything, and even be halfway through my IS... I hope.

Gotta remind myself, there's always Hope withing the Darkness. No matter what happens, I've got friends who drop everything, pon CCA, zhao from movie with friends... just to give me a hug or crash for an afternoon just to confide.

Besides... at the very least I know that I can go home to a bed with my favourite pillows to cuddle up in.