Increasing number of teens getting into relationships. Increasing number of teen sex cases. All of this happening in well developed countries. People ask why, I say, why not.
So what if you’ve got all the material wants possible? I can stretch out my hand and ask for money, and my parents would give it. I have everything that I could possibly want. I’ve got a computer, my own room, a nice handphone. Yes. I don’t need people to remind me that I’m very fortunate.
With all this, why aren’t I doing well in my studies? I’m lazy, yeah. That’s one. Then again… maybe there are other reasons.
From primary school, dad and mum never showed me the unconditional love any more. Instead, it went to what I would term “Result orientated love” Get the good results, and they’ll say “Good job! Come, I buy you something!” Often, parents forget that material goods don’t demonstrate how much you love someone. Of course, teens are fickle minded. Once the material goods stop, they start protesting, why aren’t you buying me stuff if you don’t love me? Well, since I’m talking about the increasing number of teens getting into relationships and the increasing numbers of teen sex, (includes the lower average age that teens have sex too.) I figure that this is one of those main causes.
When was the last time that you parents actually asked your kid about anything OTHER than schoolwork? When was the last time you asked about anything not related to the kid’s results at all? When did you last ask about your kid’s crushes? When did the “Hey, I can tell my parents anything at all” mindset disappear and suddenly become “No, they don’t understand.” Mindset?
With this lack of emotional… satisfaction, perhaps. Is it any wonder that teens try to find love outside their families? Within their family, they may not feel loved at all. Parents may think this is ridiculous, “Of course we love our children!” they say. I have no doubts that every parent loves their children. The only thing I doubt is how parents show that love.
Elders complain that children nowadays don’t go up to their parents and say “I love you.” When did our parents last come up to the kids to say that? When we were kids, they always whispered that into our young little ears before we slept. Now, all grown up, why must that change? At least, in a relationship, if you’re sure that the other party likes you, you get a substitute for love. It’s like asking why teens have sex. I don’t doubt that sex is enjoyable, but more often than not, I really believe that teens have sex because they feel loved when they do the act. They lack their parent’s love, so they look for love outside. And here we go, back to ego dysfunction again.
Do your parents know your favourite colour? Do they know your favourite hobby? Do they know your character at all? My answer to the first two is yes, but the answer to the third question is the most important. If they don’t ask, or interact with you on a far more emotional level as you grow, they’ll never know.
My parents don’t know how much I bury things and emotions deep within myself, and they wonder why I suddenly explode at times. Maybe I’m expecting too much from their “reading” abilities, but they’re my PARENTS. My teachers seem to know me better than my parents, (Which isn’t saying much. But since my teachers know me better than I know myself, that’s saying something.)
I don’t need material goods. I don’t need a new phone. All I want is for you to come over at night while I’m studying, look over my shoulder, pat my head and say “Keep it up.” All I want is for you to come over before I go to sleep, let me lie on your lap for a while as you stroke my head. All I want is just for you to ask me something NOT related to schoolwork.
Hope of the day: For parents to remember that simply meeting the kid's material needs is secondary. Make sure they're emotionally healthy, then you won't need to worry about a pregnant daughter/random girl you don't know.
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Your parents would love to have an insight into your life. Often, the choice is yours as to how much you want to let them into your life.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you're the first child, but if you are, do remember that with each new day it's their first time raising a child your age. Parents are often expected to get it right the first time but that is never the case. If anything, they'd rather be your friend.
Perhaps if you hugged your mom or dad once in a while, maybe say a word of thanks or encouragement for being great parents, that they'd feel better about themselves and open up.
But we'll never know till we are parents ourselves, aye?