What kind of girls would you like, Shunsui?

“What kind of girls do YOU like, Shunsui?”

“Girls with freedom in their eyes.”

It’s not a direct quote, since I can’t remember the exact page where I read this from. Credits for this goes to the author of Second Manuscript. Go check it out on my links! It rocks!

But I was talking to her recently, and the fire I remembered is gone. She laughs, like anyone else, but there’s no more freedom left in her eyes. She’s resigned to things that come her way.

People change, whether you like it or not. ZJ, you definitely think a lot more than you let on. Tell me why you didn't take KI again? Common sense FTW!!

Maybe it's just be trying to comfort myself, but I don't think she’s the girl I fell in love with any more. Maybe… I’ll get over her more easily. Maybe it's just me deluding myself. Well... whatever goes, right? Heh.

It seems that SAJC teachers really understand a lot more than they let on. Did Ms Yeo tell her anything? I dunno. But Miss Wong seems to sense some frustration underneath... Ms Yeo probably told her about me being rather depressed, so I could understand the first part...

I'm good natured? Uh huh... I don't really think so... or is it maybe that I don't want to admit it? I never liked holding grudges, that's for sure... But maybe I've forgiven her for just dumping me just like that? We haven't talked, but I really hope we can talk after my A's. I've looked our entire relationship over, and it seems that for the last week of our relationship or so, she was the one avoiding like plague.

Miss Wong seems to tell me to let my heart guide my actions. Maybe my heart is telling me to move on. No, actually, that's what my head is telling me. But if so many people are telling me that, the Law of Large Numbers dictates that they have a point.

Thanks, ZJ. When I asked you, "Why do we work so hard?" I never expected you to answer "So that we don't regret it." Everyone keeps telling us to work hard, then list a huge list of material things... We don't work hard for material things... At least, I don't want to. I want to work hard because I don't want to regret wasted chances. At least, if you know that you've tried your best, you'll be happy and content. Being happy and content is what really matters, not just having everything you could ask for. Money can buy anything materialistic, it can assist you in finding happiness, but true happiness can be found without the money...

Maybe that's just my naive innocence speaking. But I really want to believe that. Being cynical and sarcastic about life will make life uber-depressing. Life already sucks, and that's why I laugh at the small things. After all, if you don't laugh at the small things, life is seriously going to suck.

We really need to get working on that Bleach Character quiz, you know? Right, Captain Kyoraku? You are SO him, ZJ. I'm still undecided between Rukia and Shinji, though. Who fits me better? Maybe Shinji? Who hides all that he feels behind a mask of total deadpan "My first love"...? Heh. Maybe I hide behind a different kind of mask, though.

One last thing, a few weeks back, I was particularly depressed. So I took a long, slow walk down to tuition. I stopped to cross the road, happening to look down. At that same moment, I thought. "C'mon, Nic. Life isn't so bad. You've still got Vic, ZJ and ZH to talk to. There are tons of new experiences waiting." Then I saw this shiny new $1 coin on the road.

Heh, maybe someone up there has a sense of humour. Christians call it fate, but I would like to believe in a more... "humanised?" God? Maybe he's laughing at the practical joke that he made, as I try to figure out what it meant? That's an interesting thought *Laughs*

I don't agree with everything the Christians say in the Bible, but I believe that there IS a God which represents all that is good. Of course, one must always give thanks for the small things in life which make it so fulfilling.

Here's the Hope of the Day:

1) Here’s a toast, a toast to life, and despite how crappy it might be, let’s not be too cynical about it.
2) I Hope that in whatever we do, we work hard not because of the reward waiting at the end, but because we don't want to regret it. Maybe this is a paradox... But it's a paradox of the sort that I want to believe the better part of it.